by C.J.

photo: Olivia Whitfield

Author Bio:

C. J. is a female Authoress, with Autism and ADHD, who writes in diverse genres and formats. She is a Spoken Word Artist who has performed at Autism Anglia’s ‘Neurofantastic’. She has also performed at the Three Wise Monkey’s many times at ‘Emotional Madness’ and under the name ‘Satine’ in ‘Poetry Brothel Colchester’. Her poems have been published in ‘The Unfamiliars’ Zines as well as performing for their ‘Scratch Labs’. She is also a Public Speaker for Neurodiversity.

Official Professional Page:

My perspective changes daily,

Like the rising and setting of the sun.

When the sun is full light shines upon my life,

Basking it in a hazy golden glow,

That heals and reflects upon everything,

My beautiful achievements glistening like cityscapes,

My loved ones gleam like shiny sculptures,

Casting friendly loving glints within me. 


But as the sun goes down shadows grow and linger,

Once welcoming shapes turn monstrous,

And the home of my life turns into a cage,

One I am inextricably tied to and imprisoned within,

The shadows of people I know turning to separation,

The terrible trapped feeling of a lonely animal.


As the sun rises again with my mood,

Things seem friendly and bright again,

As if the shadows had never risen,

But I know they did and will again.


Perhaps knowing the changeable nature of me,

Can help me change my perspective?

Can help me realise that when darkness comes,

Despite all the negative feelings,

Despite the false knowledge that darkness will stay,

Perhaps the shadows will fade faster,

Disappearing like an echo gone silent.

Perhaps this time the sun will rise faster and stay longer,

And I will have all I can hope for,

As I will be more in the light than the dark.

(2021 - All rights remain with the author)